Tsukasa's Reality
by Amaya night rain
Summary: Tsukasa's past, why her dad hates her, and most of all why she chose to play a boy, gos on to do more stuff somehow became a romance and also how she met Maha and well eventually tell how she got stuck in the world
1. Tsukasa's Reality

Dad always blamed moms death on me. He said that if I had been a boy she would still be alive. Either that or he said that I should have never been born at all.  
  
I always knew that my father had wanted a boy and had been disappointed that I was a girl, he thought me inferior in some way because of my gender so I always had trouble pleasing him. When my mother was alive it wasn't as bad, it was just the look of disappointment in his eyes when I did something good, as if it would have been ten time grander had I been a boy.  
  
He wanted a boy so badly that him and mom tried to have another child, but my birth had been a hard one so her body couldn't handle it again. She had miscarriages every time. Slowly her body developed uterine cancer as a result.  
  
And then she died.  
  
I know this now, though no one ever bothered to tell me what was going on then. They thought me to small to understand, to young to be told that my mother had this horrible disease, this cancer. And none of them thought to tell that I wouldn't have a mother after that, but I understood anyway. I heard the conversations they had when they thought I was asleep or that I was just to young to understand.  
  
Hmph. They thought I was naive and stupid, but even an idiot could tell something was wrong.  
  
It was only later that I found out the rest though, when my father was yelling at me and telling me how much he hated me. When he was drunk and would let something slip like 'you are the source of cancer.' The one time he said that he beat me so bad that I couldn't go to school for a week. I think that he thought that if I died every cancer cell would die along with me.  
  
After a while I started believing some of the things that he would say, about how it was all my fault and how everything would have been all right if I would have just been a boy.  
  
It has been years sense mom died now and I'm almost used to the beatings though every time he stops I hope beyond hope that is the last time. I've even once found myself hoping that one time when he beat me and I blacked out I wouldn't wake up again. 


	2. Tears Of Joy

It was one of those rare days when things were going good and I could almost forget that I had scares on my body. Dad was happy and had decided to get me a present, just out of the blue. It was a game that I had heard some people talk about at school. "The World," some kind of a virtual reality thing. Well it was something, not really like anything I had before but there was no reason I could see to complain. A gift was something that I didn't get a lot, especially from my dad.  
  
It was nice, we had dinner like a normal family for once and for a while nothing was wrong with me. I was so happy. He actually said he loved me.  
  
That night I cried, but for once they were tears of joy. 


	3. The Boy He Never Had

Somewhere, on some level, I think that I knew it was to good to last.  
  
One night he just came home from work drunk and suddenly remembered what was wrong with me. It was horrible, and every scratch and bruise that I got hurt so much more as I finally realized that even if he loved me he would always hate me more.  
  
That night my eyes were dry because I had already cried tears of blood.  
  
I lay awake for some time staring into the darkness as I waited for him to come back. I stared around my room and my eyes fell on the game he had gotten me, the virtual reality of some sorts.  
  
I had never been interested in that kind of stuff, but anything was better then this, right?  
  
I installed the game and started to try and create a character.  
  
I tried the various female forms but for some reason none of them appealed to me, I guess I believed what my dad said more then I thought.  
  
Finally I picked a character, a male wavemaster, now all I needed was a name.  
  
Tsukasa. It was the name they were planing to give to one of the babies that my mom miscarried.  
  
For some reason it just felt right, as if my dad was finally getting his wish.  
  
Authors Note: This story came about when I was wondering why Tsukasa decided to play as a boy. Also I suppose that it's kind of explaining what I think the situation was with his dad in a little more detail and why he beat her up. I might add more to this story later like what her first time on "The World" was like. Again any flames will be used to cook food or keep me warm like there supposed to, unless I'm feeling evil in witch case they may burn people for my amusement. Sad to say but I don't own .hack//sign, though I do co-own .hack infection. Ummmm... I think that that's it so Bye-bye for now:p 


	4. Mute Guy

I finally logged in after reading the message board to find out a little bit about "the world." I was in the Delta server and the first thing that struck me was how many people there were, all running about frantically and some of them just pausing in mid step and staring off into space. That looked rather odd.  
  
As I looked around another boy saw me and came up. "Hey you look like a newbie want to come with me and the rest of my party to explore a dungeon. I here they have really cool items and we could sure use a Wavemaster. So, how about it, will you come?"  
  
I stared at him uncomprehendingly. "Huh?" was all as he moved steadily closer to me and stuck out his hand invitingly.  
  
"Come on don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about. You don't just think that people come here to talk and the weapons are just for show?"  
  
"Ummmmmmmm......"  
  
"Will this settles it you have to come now. My name is Tech and I'm the least new of the bunch of newbies you'll see in our party so if you have a question just ask me. Now in order to join the group you're gonna have to give me you member address. I'll introduce you to the rest of the group in a sec. So what would you're name be?"  
  
He said all of this relatively fast and it left my head spinning so I did the logical thing, I stared blankly at him.  
  
He just stared back at me.  
  
"Well are you gonna give me your member address or not?" he asked after several more minutes of silent staring in the middle of a street.  
  
I opened my mouth and then closed it decidedly, it had gotten me into enough problems in the past. So I sat there and stared at him.  
  
"You know I'm really starting to think that your character is supposed to be mute. If you can't talk for some reason a simple nod of the head would do."  
  
I couldn't help myself, the look on his face was priceless as he stared at me almost smelling of irritation, the corner of my mouth slowly togged upward and my head nodded without any incentive from my brain. Finally my hand made it's way up with a piece of paper holding my member address and soon enough I was on my way to my first dungeon.  
  
I was introduced to the rest of his party as "the mute guy" and they were introduced in turn.  
  
It turned out Tech was a "Twin Blade." The rest of the party consisted of a "Heavy Axemen" and a "Broad sword", Hugo and Fredy.  
  
They explained that I probably wouldn't do a lot of fighting, mostly healing, but would still get experience points and some items.  
  
As we went through the dungeon Tech explained what they were doing as they went and I started to catch in. The best part about the whole thing was that they thought I was supposed to be mute or couldn't respond besides shaking my head, so no one expected a response.  
  
We were just about at the Gott statue were we would get our reward when something happened and suddenly I fell to my knees crying out in pain. I was confused at first and couldn't understand what was going on when suddenly it clicked, it may seem like I was here, but my body was still in front of the computer.  
  
The pain seared once again throughout my body and I screamed, an eerie scream that sounded to come from far away. As I struggled to breath through tear soaked sobs the last thing that I remember seeing was the three of them around me looking shocked and worried before I blacked out and my PC disappeared from the dungeon, leaving three horrified players in my wake. 


	5. A Friend

I woke up the next morning on the floor, the headset a couple of feet away torn from the plug. I sat up slowly, groaning as the full affects of a major migraine slowly kicked in.  
  
It was about noon but luckily it was a Saturday. I slowly got up and looked at myself in the mirror. There was dry blood here and there as well a small gash on my cheek. I slowly undressed and got in the shower, making sure to wash out each cut carefully. I stepped out and dressed again in clean clothes before returning to my room.  
  
I sat there staring at my computer remembering the feel of being a totally different person and actually not thinking about what had happened. I barely recognized the fact that she was going back into the game, all I new was that I was getting away from what had happened last night, from what had been happening for the years that had passed sense she had died.  
  
Once again I found myself at the Delta server. The only difference was that this time no one approached me. I walked around until I found a secluded corner with a box. I jumped onto the box and sat down. From here I had a perfect view of the crowd going around and doing whatever business they had here.  
  
I sat there for what could have been hours content with just watching the PC's when suddenly I got a plash message from Tech. He wanted me to meet him at some field were he said almost no one went to talk. I frowned ever so slightly before jumping off the box and going to the place he had requested.  
  
When I got there I turned around and found myself nose to nose with I backed upon and looked at him, waiting.  
  
"What happened?" he asked in a tone that berated his happy tone of the other night. This tone was serious.  
  
I stared at him examining his face carefully and weighing my possible responses. Staying quite wasn't going to work, I knew that much. Answering truthfully on the other hand was definitely out of the question. Lying seemed like the only way, or at least understating the truth.  
  
Finally I looked back into his eyes and replied, "I got hurt."  
  
"I think I just heard the understatement of the year," he mumbled to himself before continuing to talk to me, "Now that we have that straight, how?"  
  
I took a deep breath and prepared my self. "I stubbed my toe."  
  
He laughed dryly before looking at me once again and shaking his head. He raised his arms to the sky in a questioning manner and I shrunk away, holding my hands in front of my face in a reflex that I had long ago learned.  
  
He looked at me, surprised, arms still raised and then slowly lowered them. "How old are you?"  
  
I answered automatically, "14"  
  
He shook his head and then looked at me once more before plastering a huge smile on his face. "Well it's nice to finally meet someone my age in here, now then tell me again what your name is, I believe that I have somehow forgotten."  
  
I looked at him, dumbfounded, but answered all the same, "Tsukasa."  
  
"All right then Tsukasa, how about we go raid another dungeon with the guys, or if you prefer we can sit here and contemplate the meaning of life as we stare at the fake scenery."  
  
"I think I'd like the second better."  
  
"You know you sure are one strange guy," he said as he sat down, leaning against a wall type thing.  
  
I smiled ironically. "You don't know the half of it," and with that I sat down next to him lost in my own thoughts, some of witch contained mulling over the appearance of a young man sitting somewhere behind a computer screen. 


	6. Ew a Guy Just Kissed Me

Months passed and "the world" became more and more of a refuge from everyday life I would go to the occasional dungeon with the guys or just wander around watching players go about doing different things. Most of those times were always quite as I pondered one thing or another as I watched them. The other two guys besides Tech, Hugo and Fredy, didn't expect much talking from me. It was nice and I didn't always have to think about reality, in fact I tried not to.  
  
The only down part of the whole thing was the few times when my dad came home and decided to beat me up while I was on. Usually I could log off before I screamed, or I would be in a dungeon and would just stand there, biting my tongue until I blacked out.  
  
Besides the one time Tech approached me no one said anything. I was really grateful.  
  
I the best times I had in "the world" just sitting there next to Tech and staring at a field. We didn't talk much, just sat there, and this was when I was closest to happiness.  
  
It was a time just like that on an open grassy field, the wind blowing softly and the stars and moon amazingly bright, so it wasn't at all difficult to see.  
  
"Hey, Tsukasa," Tech said suddenly.  
  
I jumped slightly surprised to here him speak. "Yes?"  
  
"Do you want to meet me in the real world some time? I mean, I already know I live in the same city as you, it doesn't really make sense not to hang out in the real world. I mean for all I know we go to the same school maybe even share some of the same classes. It seems kind of stupid not to meat in the real world," he explained.  
  
I had been expecting this for a while, the truth was I did want to see him. I fell back into the grass from my sitting position looking at the sky and thinking quickly. I sighed heavily, it would be hard to get out of the house. "I guess you're right, how about tomorrow at two o'clock?" I suggested.  
  
"Sounds good, were?"  
  
I shrugged. "Kito Ramen shop?" It was a semi-popular place for kids to hang out after school so he should know it, but was practically empty except for grown-ups on weekends.  
  
He shrugged back. "Sure, why not. I'll be wearing a black hooded sweatshirt, how about you?"  
  
I thought about my clothe choices. "A white shirt," I said finally.  
  
At hearing this he through himself down in frustration landing next to me. He was cute when he was frustrated I noted then smiled evilly, he still didn't know I was a girl. Well I would just have to give him a hint.  
  
"I'm never going to be able to recognize you with that description," he told me.  
  
My smile widened. "I know."  
  
He propped himself up on one shoulder and looked at me shaking his head.  
  
I felt the odd urge to giggle but forced myself to repress it. "You look so cute when you do that," I told him.  
  
He blinked staring at me. I could practically read the thoughts going across his head and had o use all of my self-control not to burst out laughing.  
  
He blinked again. "Did you just call me cute?"  
  
I shook my head, leaned over closing the gap between us and lightly kissed him on the cheek then got up. "Bye then, see you tomorrow," I told him and with that I left, leaving a confused and slightly disgusted Tech behind.  
  
I got off my computer and walked down the hall smiling only to come face to face with the reason that I met Tech in the first place, and it was drunk. 


	7. Meating

I woke up on the floor again. It was a little past twelve, plenty of time for me to hide my scars and bruises before going out.  
  
I finally left at about fifteen till, just enough time to get there. I was wearing a white shirt with ruffles on the sleeves. I had on a pair of baggy pants that some how also managed to hug my hips at the same time. The only noticeable thing about my appearance was a small scare on my left cheek from my first night in the game. It was only seen by the slightly paler color that made it look more like a highlight. My short, brown, neck length hair covered it up most of the time so I didn't worry about it to much. My hair was a deep brown and my eyes were a deep sad blue, the one thing that I share with my PC.  
  
I walked into the shop five minutes late and looked around. He should be here by now. In the corner by the window I saw a boy my age with a black sweatshirt on. I smiled. He had black hair that was spiked upwards. From here I could barely see his face as he squinted trying to make out a figure that could be the one he was waiting for. Other then the black shirt he was wearing a pair of shorts with multiple pockets that reached a little past his knee.  
  
I walked over slowly and sat down across from him. He looked up confused.  
  
"So are you Tech?" I asked.  
  
"Ummm, yeah. Who are you?" He asked now utterly confused.  
  
"You know," I said, "you seem a lot smarter in the world."  
  
He looked at me his eyes widening suddenly in comprehension. "Tsukasa? But, you're a girl," he said.  
  
I smiled. "Well I should hope so. Now are we going to go somewhere or did I come here for nothing?" I asked.  
  
"Well it does explain a lot," he said finally and then smiled.  
  
I smiled back. He had taken it surprisingly well. "Why don't we go to the park, it'll be just like usual, only in the real world," I asked.  
  
He shook his head staring at me. "I can't believe you're a girl, all this time I thought you were just another one of the guys."  
  
I looked at him surprised. "Why can't I be one of the guys?" I asked worry touching my voice. All that I could think was that he wasn't going to want to be my friend any more because I was a girl. It scared me.  
  
"It's not that, I just thought that I would have been able to tell that's all," he said. He turned and looked at me as we arrived at the park. "Anyway I'm happy that you're a girl, it means that the kiss wasn't as wrong as I thought that it was."  
  
I laughed at that, I couldn't stop myself. "The look you gave me yesterday was absolutely priceless."  
  
He stuck out his tongue at me. "Well that's because I thought you were a boy and it scared me, I wouldn't do it again."  
  
I leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek. He blinked.  
  
"You kissed me," he stated.  
  
"And you gave me the exact same look," I said triumphantly.  
  
At that he narrowed his eyebrows and glared at me. We sat down under a tree and leaned against it staring at the field.  
  
"Tsukasa?" he said.  
  
"Yeah," I said turning to look at him.  
  
As soon as my face was facing his he leaned forward and kissed me on the lips. My eyes bulged and my back stiffened. Slowly he backed away grinning at my expression. I narrowed my eyebrows imitating his expression and then leaned forward and kissed him back. This time I got no reaction except for the returned kiss. In my head I smirked as I added my tongue into the kiss. With that he backed away and looked at me in surprise.  
  
He sighed. "You win."  
  
I grinned.  
  
He grinned back. "You now you're not such a bad kisser."  
  
I stared at the ground and blushed a deep red.  
  
He looked at my face and suddenly reached out and traced my scare lightly with his fingers. "What happened?" he asked softly.  
  
I shook my head slowly. "Nothing."  
  
He sighed and let his hand fall back to his lap and then stared at the park. We remained quite for the rest of the day until I had to go back home. 


	8. As Long As You Don't Suck Out Our Brains

When I got home no one was there. I sighed in relief.  
  
In my mind I couldn't help but go over what had happened today. I could tell I was blushing but I didn't care, no one was around anyway. I had no idea what had come over me back in the park, I just had this felling that I had to prove him wrong.. The whole thing was a little bit fast, from my first kiss to my first french kiss in a day. Why did they call them french kiss's anyway? Oh well.  
  
It was more of a playful thing then anything else anyway.  
  
I giggled remembering his statement about my kissing and then stopped amazed. I never giggled. The most amazing part was that it was in the real world, somehow I think that being around him made me act my age. I reflected on the past thought, you never hear people use that phrase to describe someone acting younger then normal, always older, but somehow it was true.  
  
We had decided before I left that w would meet again tomorrow at the park at eleven. I looked over at my computer and decided to go on. Maybe I would see Tech.  
  
I logged on and then went to my favorite spot in "the world." I was surprised to see someone I didn't recognize sitting under one of the trees. I came closer and slowly started to see a face. The face surprised me even more then the presence of another player, for it wasn't that of a human, it was a cat.  
  
I approached the cat player slowly showing no outward sign of surprise. The cat looked up and it's eyes licked with mine. The eye color was a vibrant red with no pupils or whites, only a reflection from the sun. The eeriest part of the cat person was the light that seemed to come from within the eyes making them appear to glow even though it was a bright day.  
  
We stared at each other for a few seconds that seemed to last forever until she, yes I think it was a feminine creature, rose and then disappeared from the field.  
  
I went to the place that she stood and sat down pondering what I had seen until I heard footsteps announcing the arrival of another player. I looked up from the patch of grass I was currently staring at to see who it was. Inside I smiled when I saw who it was, Tech.  
  
He sat down next to me and we each waited for the other to speak, surprising even myself I started the conversation. "I had a good time today," I said.  
  
He smirked, "I did to, especially at the park." I pushed him as hard as I could at that statement, though sadly enough it only caused him to burst out laughing. "Now, now, now," he said, "It's nothing to get all fisty over, save that for tomorrow."  
  
I was just about ready to PK him by using a particularly nasty little spell I had picked up when I got a flash mail message from Hugo, he wanted to go to a dungeon with me, Tech, and Fredy.  
  
"You just wait till I can cause you physical pain, you'll pay for that comment I told him after responding yes to Hugo's message. "Now come on we're going to a dungeon with Fredy and Hugo"  
  
I got up and went to the server were I saw Fredy and Hugo waiting. Tech arrived right behind me and with that we were off to the dungeon.  
  
It was a pretty high level dungeon so I would be doing a lot of healing. That gave me an evil idea to get back at Tech.  
  
We ran into our fist monsters almost right away and I healed everyone, that is everyone except for Tech. His ghost got up and stood next to me. "Har, har, very funny now revive me already," he said.  
  
I smirked, staring right through him to see the fight. He continued to stand next to me through the whole battle as we watched the other two fight of the creatures. Occasionally I would attack a monster in between healing, all the while listening to Tech scream and yell at me for not reviving me.  
  
It was actually quite entertaining.  
  
When the fight was over Hugo and Fredy noticed that Tech was a ghost and asked me why I didn't revive him.  
  
"Tech, Tech who?" I asked innocently.  
  
Both of them burst out laughing as Tech practically fumed with rage. After a few more battles I finally revived him mostly because he was really good at yelling in a high pitch that starts to give you a headache after a while.  
  
"You two are acting odd today," Fred stated as we neared the statue.  
  
"I bet I know what happened, they met outside and one of them is actually a girl and they ended up making out and now they are mad at each other to cover up there true feelings! You see it's all part of there conspiracy to convert us to there side, they pretend they're like us and then they pounce and we get sucked in," said Hugo.  
  
Fredy looked at him oddly. "Man I already told you that girls aren't out to get us," He said.  
  
"That's what they want us to think," said Hugo.  
  
"You have a lot of time to think about this don't you?" asked Fredy  
  
Hugo shook his head grinning proudly. "Sure do."  
  
Fredy sighed before turning back to Tech and me. He was confronted with a slightly blushing Tech and me, avoiding his gave at all costs. Somewhere inside the whole thing was extremely amusing, right now though I felt like I was on trial.  
  
Fredy glanced from me to Tech and back again. "I'll be damned," he said, "Hugo's was actually right for once." A huge grin came across his face. "So witch one of you is a girl behind that PC, huh? One of you is a girl right?" he asked.  
  
"Yes one of is a girl stupid!" Tech practically screamed. "Tsukasa is."  
  
I was a little bit embarrassed that they knew I was a girl, I wanted to be one of the guys still, and Hugo was probably going to hate me for it. Honestly I don't think I would blame him, being hated because of my gender wasn't exactly a new thing.  
  
I didn't really know what to do, I stared at the ground. "I'll leave now," I said and I turned away to walk out.  
  
Fredy looked at me like I was nuts. "No one said anything about you leaving, besides, you're the best wavemaster we know. Whoever put it in your head that we would be mad at you over this has got another thing coming. Hugo here may think girls are out to get him but I'm sure he'll get over it. Plus Tech would be lonely without you," he told me.  
  
I looked at him smiling hesitantly. "Really, you don't mind?" I asked.  
  
At that Hugo smiled evilly. "Actually I think Tech prefers you being a girl," he said looking at the now beat red Tech. Then he turned, looking at me with fake mistrust. "Just don't suck our brains out and eat them to gain knowledge and become a super villain on us okay."  
  
"Okay," I said.  
  
We beat the dungeon and went back to the field. Fredy decided he was going to ride on his grunty and Hugo decided to make it a race and insisted that Tech join in. I was made the official ref. sense I was the only one with no grunty to ride. We marked out the course and I watched as they raced away, each asking there grunty to go faster. I smiled when Fredy took a short cut and ended up in a battle. I healed him and fought a few monsters from were I was while still keeping an eye on the other two. Tech had a noble grunty that was surprisingly dumb and Hugo had an Iron grunty. In the end Hugo won because Tech's decided to eat some of the plants on the side of the course.  
  
After the race everyone had to leave to do homework that had been assigned over the weekend from various classes. I sat down when everyone had left and watched the virtual sunset and wished on the virtual stars. 


	9. Kitty Cat

I'm not sure how long I sat there staring up at the sky but when I finally arose from my position intending to go home and get some sleep something made me pause and scan the field as if I was expecting to see something. At first everything seemed to be completely normal but something just didn't feel right so I stood there staring at nothing. I shook my head in an attempt to rid myself of the thoughts and prepared to leave only to stop at the sound of a someone behind me.  
  
I turned around to see the cat player from earlier that day. I had completely forgotten about the encounter until I saw it again. I was slightly surprised at it sudden appearance but didn't let it show on my face. The cat player tilted it's head and stared at me it's red eyes seeming to pulse with light as it they peered at me in a quizzical fashion.  
  
I returned the look of bewilderment as I found myself locked with it's unearthly gaze. Finally I broke the silence that surrounded us like a fog as I asked the mysterious player a question. "Who are you?"  
  
It looked me a while longer studying my character with a seeming amusement and then it quickly motioned for me to come closer.  
  
I stepped closer almost on impulse before my mind had a chance to knock some sense into me.  
  
The cat character reached out as if to touch me and then suddenly stopped, backed away, and disappeared.  
  
I blinked several times to see if it had just been a trick and then shook my head trying to convince myself that it was all in my imagination. Unfortunately I had no such luck.  
  
I finally decided that I would worry about it in the morning an with a yawn logged off and went to sleep. 


	10. Icecream And Dinner

Ice-cream is very good I decided while biting into my mint chocolate chip ice-cream.  
  
I looked up at Tech who had gotten double chocolate. He had a nice large chocolate mustache. I giggled as I looked at him and he glared at me pretending to protect his ice-cream.  
  
"You have a chocolate mustache," I informed him cheerfully.  
  
He stuck his tongue out at me and went back to eating. I laughed even harder as we sat there eating. Tech had suggested that we got some ice-cream and had insisted on getting me some when I told him I was flat broke.  
  
"So," he started after finishing his ice-cream and making a big point of leaving the mustache, "What have you been doing sense I last saw you?"  
  
"Sleeping," I said simply like it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it probably was.  
  
He pretended to look offended as he spoke next, "You mean you haven't been restless because my handsome figure kept popping into your head all night?"  
  
I pretended to think hard. "No not that I can say." I shook my head negatively.  
  
He sat there pouting lightly. "Well I know I for one had trouble sleeping, couldn't help but think about this girl that I got into a little fight with and ended up kissing. She was a good kisser to, wondering if she'd like to make it a regular thing," he said with false bravery. I knew it was false bravery mind you not because of his voice, that was as calm as ever, but because I could feel his legs gently shaking under the table.  
  
I looked at him as he smiled nervously. Had he just asked me to be his girlfriend?  
  
I sat there a moment to shocked to say anything.  
  
He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled faintly. "I guess that's a no then?"  
  
"No!" I said finally finding enough voice to say something.  
  
"Well we can at least still be..."at that I cut him off.  
  
"No, I mean yes, I mean I would love to kiss you some more, errrr, go out with you, errrr, yeah," I said, or at least tried.  
  
He smiled at me and I blushed fiercely. "Sounds good to me. So now that that's official," He said as my blush heightened and his smile widened obviously finding the whole thing extremely amusing, "how about we go back to the park."  
  
I smiled at this to and as we got up slipped my hand into his blushing once again.  
  
We finally got to the park and sat down under the same tree that we had been under before. I leaned my head on him and then blushed. It was cold out and being next to him kept me warmer but that warmth just served to remind me that I was sitting here under a tree with a boy who was now my boyfriend of a few minutes.  
  
"You know you're the first boyfriend I've ever had," I told him softly.  
  
He looked down at me and had a cute surprised expression on. "No kidding? I was sure I was the one who would have had less experience dating," He said.  
  
"You've had a girlfriend before?" I asked.  
  
"Well I've had a girlfriend for a few minutes now, about as long as you've had a boyfriend I'd say," he said smirking. "Honestly I would have thought that you would have had plenty of boyfriends before, all the guys at your school must be absolutely blind, not that I'm not glad about that." With that he widened his grin by a few notches.  
  
I couldn't help thinking what a cute smile he had while I shook my head. "No I just do a really good job of staying invisible," I said with a slightly forced laugh.  
  
He looked at me eyes full of concern as I silently met his gaze.  
  
"Who did this to you? Who gave you that scar? I know someone did this to you Tsukasa, come on tell me," he pleaded.  
  
I looked away from his eyes and pressed my face into his chest thinking feverently of something to get off the subject. He rapped his arms around me and rubbed my back up and down my spine trying to calm me down or comfort me.  
  
I wasn't going to talk about it, there was no way that I to ruin the good time that I was having, especially with them being so rare. NO! I wasn't going to go there.  
  
I fought the urge to tell him everything and collected myself focusing on putting a fake smile on. "I have no idea what you're talking about Tech," I lied straight to his face. I felt a surge of guilt wash over me. No, I told myself fighting of the next wave of guilt, I'm keeping this a secret to help him, I can't let him get involved!  
  
Tech looked at me and I could tell that he hadn't bought it but he knew enough to let the subject fall.  
  
I let out a sigh of relief when he shook his head and started to look at the sky, absently stroking my hair.  
  
After a while of sitting there both of us got hungry again and decided to get an early dinner, seeing as the ice-cream constituted as our lunch for the day.  
  
We went to McDonnell's and got some hamburgers, fries, and soda's before coming back to the park to eat, it was much to crowded inside. We ate under a tree in mutual silence, just enjoying the other person's presence.  
  
When I finished I leaned back against the tree we were under and sighed.  
  
"It's not as pretty here," I told him looking at the sunset.  
  
He followed my gaze and shook his head in agreement. "Yeah but I think I like it here better anyway, there's a lot of thing you can't do in 'the world' that you can do here," he told me.  
  
"Like what?" I asked not getting even a hint of what he was talking about.  
  
"Like hold someone," he said as he slipped next to me and rapped his arms around me, "Or then there's always this."  
  
"Wha.." I was cut off as his lips met mine and tensed before finally returning the kiss.  
  
"Yes, I do like those," I told him, "But I still think I like the word better."  
  
"Oh? And why is that?" He asked me.  
  
"It's prettier there, and..." my voice faded away. I had almost said no one can hurt you there but I couldn't say that, what if he found out and agreed with my dad, I don't think I could take that.  
  
"And what?" he asked.  
  
"Nothing, it's nothing."  
  
"You know hat I like about the world?" he asked keeping his glance on the sky.  
  
"What?"  
  
"No one can hurt you in 'the world', not physically I mean. Even though the player killers can kill your PC all it does is set you back to your last saving point, not nearly as serious as in the real world."  
  
I stared ahead, I knew what he was doing, he wanted me to open up. I felt safe with him though, I didn't want to tell him all the sad things, I didn't want him to be mad at me. Even if he wasn't mad at me though he would never understand. So I just had to keep it a secret, that was all.  
  
He continued on despite my silence as though he didn't expect me to speak, which was probably the case. "That's the one thing that's not realistic, and I'm glad. The real world has a lot of screwy people in it, rapists, murderers, child abusers," he paused for a while and looked at me. I tried to be as calm as possible but my heart was racing. What the hell was Tech doing!  
  
"In 'the world' though what they do isn't as bad, in 'the world' they can't hurt people. In the real world though you have to worry about them more because they can hurt you. Tsukasa," he lifted my head up so I had to look at him and then continued, "I would never hurt you, and whoever does is an ass. Next time, when they try and hurt you, remember that I'll always be there for you, if you need somewhere to go anything, just tell me, I'll do whatever I can okay?"  
  
My eyes were still locked with his but I felt like tearing out of his grasp, telling him it was all a lie, deny all of it, but I couldn't, I couldn't run away from the truth, so I just shook my head indicating I understood and lay my head back on his chest closing my eyes and trying to get away from the things I left at home when I was with him or in 'the world'.  
  
I fell asleep there with Tech stroking my hair and wiping away my tears. 


	11. Wake Up

"Tsukasa you need to get up now."  
  
Stupid voice couldn't it tell I was sleeping, I didn't want to wake up, anyway my head was on something soft so it would stay there. I moaned and pushed my face deeper into the soft thing that was somehow giving of warmth.  
  
Suddenly it moved and I felt someone try to get me onto my feet.  
  
"Come on Tsukasa you have to get home it's getting late."  
  
What was that voice talking about why wasn't I home, and most importantly where was that soft thing? Besides if it was late then I was doing exactly what I should be doing, sleeping. The person who was holding me up who I assumed was the person that was talking started shaking me lightly.  
  
I opened one eye slowly, the voice was right it was dark out. I looked to my side and saw a person but for a second couldn't put a name to the face. This was someone important to me, someone I cared for, who was it?  
  
TECH!!! What was he doing here I had gone out with him at eleven o'clock it was well passed seven judging by the darkness in the sky.  
  
Oh my god I had fallen asleep. I needed to get back I had to go.   
  
Suddenly I shot up straight and began running not even looking behind me as I shouted out goodbye.  
  
My legs seemed to be going to slow and every traffic light seemed to be against me as I ran home. What if he was home? What if he noticed me coming in? Even worse what if he noticed I was gone before I even got there? What would I tell him?  
  
My legs started to hurt as I tried to squeeze even an ounce more speed out of them. My lungs were tight in fear even as I gasped for air to keep my muscles going.  
  
I finally made it in front of my house and stopped looking to see if the car was in the driveway as I tried to catch my breath.  
  
It was there. Damn.  
  
I stood leaning against my door and catching my breath. I would have to be as quite as possible when going inside and that meant my breathing to. Finally my breaths were even though my heart was now pounding loudly in my ears   
  
I stepped up to the door and finding it locked got out my key setting it in the lock and then slowly turning it trying to be as quite as possible. I opened the door slowly every creek amplified inside my head. Closing the door behind me I almost sprinted to my room only to be stopped by a solid body that reeked of alcohol.  
  
He reached out and slapped me making me fall back.  
  
"You were out there weren't you!" he said stumbling forward. He reached down and grabbed me pulling me on to my feet roughly only to throw me into a wall. "You were out there, you aren't supposed to go out there. Not sept for school, I'll be damned if you don't go to school again. I already waste enough money on you!"  
  
I shrank against the wall ignoring the pain that shot through my back.  
  
He stepped towards me and then kicked me repeatedly in the side.  
  
I could feel as a rib broke from the contact.  
  
He stopped kicking after a while and I heard footsteps followed by the closing of a door. He was gone.  
  
I picked myself up rigged from the pain in my side and brought myself into the bathroom were I did my best to clean my self up before going to my room and giving in to the blackness that promised excape from the pain I felt. 


	12. Think About It Later

It was mid morning when I finally got up. My dad was no where in sight, he was never there after he beat me this bad, he always had business trips and would be gone a few days until I was back to my normal state of all the beatings being hidden.  
  
I was still in bed laying on my side so as to not aggravate my condition but pain still seared through my veins. I got up carefully and got some cereal then took some IB profane, it probably wouldn't do much but hey, it was still a painkiller. Soon I had fallen back to sleep again, however restless it was.  
  
When I woke up again it was nighttime and what little effect the painkiller had had worn off. I struggled over to the counter and downed another douse.  
  
I sat down at my desk knowing I had to do something to keep my mind off the pain. Pain always seems worse when it'd the only thing you have to think about. I glanced around looking at the books that I had, all of witch would usually be my distraction of choice seemed to have little appeal at this time. Probably because while they sucked me into their reality was great, it was nothing compared to the fantasy that I could live on the computer now.  
  
I turned on the computer and logged in having made my decision. I had an E-mail from Tech asking why I had run away so quickly. I pondered for a moment and then decided I just wouldn't reply. He didn't need to know. No one needed to know couldn't hurt him, or me.  
  
I went to a place I had seen people talk about on the Board, Hidden Forbidden Holy Ground. I got there and was met by a large castle in front of me. It seemed as though this field had no dungeon for one reason or another.  
  
I walked in looking at the details in the fictional palace I seemed to have walked into when I saw a statue in front of me. It was a statue of a girl, maybe twenty feet tall. She was wearing a cape and her hair was about to her waste, long and seeming to billow behind her. The most astounding thing about the statue though was the chains that seemed to bond the life like statue in place, as though without them it would simply get up and walk away.  
  
I stood there starring at it rather dumbly. It looked more like a person turned to stone then a stone carved into a person, even if it was much to large. I walked forward leaning over a railing that gave the statue the appearance of an exhibit in a museum and trying to touch one of the chains. They were just a little to far so I leaned out a bit more finally falling over the side and toppling head first. I rubbed my head. That had hurt. Wait how could that hurt, it was a game for crying out loud! I shook my head, I would think about all of this later, right now my head was starting to hurt to much.  
  
I stood up and dusted myself off before walking to the nearest chain. I traced it with my fingers feeling the cold metal under my fingers, that was rather freaky. I traced it all the way to the stone girl, no longer really thinking of her as a statue. I ran my hand along part of the dress that she was wearing. I was utterly entranced.  
  
I was startled when I herd a slight tapping echoing through the large room. I looked around for the source of the noise in vain, no one seemed to be in the room, then I looked back at the statue my eyes taking in its seeming life once again and was startled to see the cat from before on the stone girls head. I had forgotten almost completely about the cat figure once again, even though I had meant to tell Tech when I had seen him. It was as if My memory had lapsed until I saw it once again.  
  
The cat looked down at me seeming rather amused witch confused me because everything about it's facial expression seemed the same as last time, yet somehow it conveyed a friendly and amused air. No matter what though the eyes were still extremely creepy though.  
  
I shivered involuntarily. "Hello," I said.  
  
It continued to look at me and then jumped down turning its head to the side in curiosity. I noticed that though it had jumped down it still wasn't on the ground, somehow it hovered about a foot above. This was getting weirder by the second. It glided around me coming to a stop in front of me after having done a full circle. It leaned forward staring into my eyes intently and then sniffed me lightly.  
  
The cat leaned backwards again and sat in the air in front of me. Seeming to contemplate something. Maybe my smell? Wait this was a game how could I have a smell? Well probably the same way I could feel pain. Great now I'm talking to myself, this was just dandy. I was going to have a really big headache after this and I had only been here for like what, fifteen minutes. And I thought I could come here to get a break from things.  
  
I floated up to one of the chains and perched there never taking its eyes of me. Wow those eyes were really creepy. It seemed to smile at me without smiling, witch once again confused me and then it waved before disappearing. Somehow I had the feeling I would see the strange cat again. The thought was both intriguing and disturbing.  
  
I sat down were I was. That was confusing. I shook my head once more before leading. I needed to log out. Things were getting a bit difficult to understand in 'the world.'  
  
I logged out and found that I had more E-mail, all from Tech. He was worried he wanted to know what was going on and he wanted to talk to me. I sighed. Things were getting much to complicated and confusing and I knew that sooner or later I would have to talk to him.  
  
Sleep, sleep always makes things better. In the morning things would be less complicated, or at least my head wouldn't hurt so much. Yes sleep is a good thing. 


	13. Talking Sucks

I woke up again. Why do you always have to wake up after you go to sleep, it would be so much easier not to.  
  
I sat up slowly and my stomach growled. Food, food is a good thing. This time I made myself a nice big ham sandwich and then sat down to eat.  
  
No sleeping hadn't suddenly bestowed me with an answer to all the weird stuff. To bad.  
  
Maybe I should talk to Tech, Hugo, and Fredy about it, I'm sure they would have some input. Then again if I talked to them I would probably be asked a whole bunch of questions I wouldn't want to be asked, mostly by Tech. Maybe just talking to Hugo and Fred.  
  
I sighed. Yep, everything was just as confusing as last night.  
  
I finished my sandwich and got up, at least there was plenty to keep my mind off the pain.  
  
Well I guess it was into 'the world' I go, maybe when I was there I could think better, probably not but what the heck, why not.  
  
I had more mail from Tech, even some from Hugo and Fredy. Guess Tech did some talking. Man talking sucks, people find out to much when someone talks.  
  
I logged in and decided to just go for it and talk to all of them. I was confused enough why not just add on some other stuff to.  
  
I flash mailed them and, just my luck, all of them were on.  
  
"Hey Tsukasa. How are you?" said Fredy as he gated in.  
  
"Really confused," I answered.  
  
"Hi," said Hugo.  
  
"Hi Tsukasa Why didn't you answer any of my E-mails?" That was of course, Tech.  
  
"I didn't feel like it. So how are all of you?"  
  
"I'm just dandy. Hey what did you want to talk about anyway?" asked Fredy.  
  
I shuffled my feet. Damn. Why the hell did I have to call them anyway! Oh well, nothing I could do about it now. "Lots of odd stuff."  
  
"Like?" asked Hugo.  
  
"A cat player with red eerie eyes that floats."  
  
"That is odd," stated Fredy.  
  
"It must be a conspiracy, it's a NPC that was written into the system to spy on all of us for the government who is then going to use it to over throw the world!" said Hugo. After all of that he was breathing heavily.  
  
Fredy looked at him like he was crazy and slowly approached him patting his back. "You, my friend, have way to much free time."  
  
Hugo smiled. "Ain't it great?"  
  
Tech sighed shaking his head sadly. "So," he said turning to me, "how exactly did you meet this floating red eyed cat player?"  
  
"I saw it in a field one day before you came and the day after we did the grunty races, then again last night at this one place I went to," I said. Well this wasn't going to bad.  
  
"So what did it do?" asked Fredy.  
  
"Well nothing really it just kind of looked at me and then left. One time it almost touched me but then it kind of didn't." Wow this was sounding lame.  
  
"I still say it's a government conspiracy, "said Hugo stubbornly sitting down and crossing his arms.  
  
"I doubt it," said Fredy.  
  
"Never mind I guess it really wasn't anything," I said trying to brush of the subject.  
  
"Did it do anything else, did it talk or anything?" asked Tech who seemed to find it odd that it didn't really talk or anything.  
  
I was about to reply when I felt something touch my side making my gasp in pain. The painkiller, I had forgotten to take it this morning. My breath began to become shallow as I felt the chair brushing against my side. Hissing in pain I tried to compose myself and act normal. Tech had worried lines etched into his face and Fred was looking at me with concern but Hugo was surprisingly the one that spoke up first.  
  
"Poor thing, take it easy it's okay. Nice deep breath's that's it. You now what next time someone does this to you I'm gonna have to track you down and bring you to my house, filthy bastard," he said all this in a surprisingly motherly way that honestly took me back almost as much as the last part. He knew. I tried to tell him it wasn't true. No one could know, he'd hurt them too, he'd find a way. And if he couldn't he would just take it out on me.  
  
He must have seen the look of fear on my face because the next thing I knew he was patting my back, even if it really was only a virtual back. "What you think I can't tell the obvious but I can figure out all the governments secret plans? You dear, have been beaten. Unlike these fellows here I'm certain of it. You flinch whenever someone's angry and the first time a monster lifted a paw to you, you almost curled into the fetal position. I'm guessing it's your father, seeing as Tech wouldn't be so worried, or alive for that matter, if it were him," Hugo said all this in the same motherly fashion and all I could do was nod slowly, tears threatening to pour out of my eyes. Behind him I could see Tech and Fredy standing there in shock.  
  
He leaned forward and hugged my lightly. I stood there shocked for a moment before returning the hug and crying shamelessly into his arms.  
  
"Now then were do you live you need to have some medical attention deary," he said. Okay now it was starting to get scary, usually all Hugo did was talk about conspiracies. "Got to get you away from the filthy government that's covering this up don't we," he asked. Okay, I thought to soon, this was still the same old Hugo.  
  
I almost laughed at his comical statement until the pain seared from the movement making me once again gasp in pain.  
  
"You need top get out of there Tsukasa, call the police something," pleaded Tech.  
  
"Tsukasa really we don't want to find out that you died on the evening news because of some ass hole of a father," pleaded Fredy.  
  
"You know what, they're right Tsukasa, even the police are better then staying there if he beats you up," said Hugo.  
  
I closed my eyes, why did I tell them, they shouldn't know. I can't leave, I've tried before, it doesn't work. My thoughts swirled around in my head. Biting my lip I looked at them, they were worried for me. I was causing them pain. I'm to worthless to even bring them reassurance that I'm okay, to weak to stand up for myself. I looked them each in the eye. "I'll be fine," I muttered, and then I left to find a place were I could be alone.  
  
I found myself on a plain with tall grass that reached my waste, if they even found this place they would likely miss me and leave to look some more. Sitting down in the grass I marveled at the way everything seemed to be so real. I thought that I could almost feel the wind that gently blew the tall grasses making them sway back and forth.  
  
I herd a soft crincling off parting grass and looked behind me to find none other then the floating cat with the eirie red eyes. I smiled at the cat, a welcome distraction and in some ways an uncomtorble reminder of what just happened.  
  
"Hello," I said smiling. "For seeing you so often I'm surprised to find I don't know your name," I told the cat figure.  
  
Maha  
  
It was a strange sensation when I herd the soft voice in my head but oddly enough it didn't surprise me much. I smiled and the creature floated into a sitting position in front of me bobbing up and down ever so slightly.  
  
"My name is Tsukasa, it's so nice to finely talk to you," I said.  
  
The cats eyes, no Maha's eyes sparkled and it seemed to smile at me. Oddly enough talking wasn't as bad when half of the conversation went on in your head. Maybe I should consider becoming a schizophrenic.  
  
Authors Note: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out, it had some character development that was needed and well it also had a lot of talking and I suck at writing talking. Also I've been really busy with school and probably only managed to finish this because I stayed home today. I hope you liked this chapter. I ended it there mainly because otherwise there would be more talking, and as the title says, talking sucks, witch makes me gald that Tsukasa doesn't talk much. I'll try to gt the next ones up quiker, much quiker if possible. Also if anyone knows how to make the Italics stick please tell me because Maha was supposed to be in Italics but well it wasn't so I don't know what to do. I'd also like to thank the reviewer that pionted out that I was spelling which witch because that is something I can at least try to fix but just remember that I already know my spelling suckd, I don't need more people to tell me. Any flames will be used to roast marshmellows because samores are good and you need to roast marshmellows to make them. Thank you all for reading and puting up with me not updating for so long, I really hope that you enjoy this chapter. I would ythank you all personally but unfortunetly my mother would go beserck if strangers started coming over to my house to be thanked so this will have to do. Bye-bye:p 


	14. Dungeons and Phone Calls

I was in a dungeon, which in itself wasn't that unusual, but I was a wavemaster and at this point I was in there on my own. Hugo, Fredy, and Tech were all persistent that I do something to get away from my father and so I tended to keep my distance from them. Instead I would venture on quests of my own and with the time that I spent in 'the world' I was rapidly gaining levels. The night when Hugo revealed that he wasn't so farfetched in some of his idea's I had spent hours talking to the cat player, Maha, and from then on she would appear at least once every time I logged on.  
  
I had just cleared a rather high level dungeon, using it to cool of some steam at, well, reality in general. My father was on a business trip and so wouldn't be back for a undetermined amount of time. That was the good thing. The bad thing could be summed up in to words, boy trouble. Not just one either, I had three boys that were bothering me. Tech was playing the worried boyfriend, Fredy the worried brother figure, and Hugo. Hugo had gone into maternal mode, which was slightly disturbing because I had assumed that he was the youngest of us by his reaction to mine and Tech's relation.  
  
I sighed and shook my head before I left the field.  
  
The people suddenly were surrounding me. I pushed my way through the bustling crowd as soon as I could and made my way to a more secluded area.  
  
The usual comfort I found had somehow disappeared and found myself fidgeting constantly.  
  
I sighed giving up. Time to do something I knew would be more uncomfortable then anything else. Time to face the worry-worts, or at least one of them.  
  
I flashed them and almost left it at that when no one answered back. Unfortunately the butterflies in my stomach had different ideas.  
  
I logged of and went to the phone. Tech agreed to meet me at McDonalds were we could talk and have some lunch. Damn me and my insistence on doing things I didn't want to.  
  
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Authoress note: I'm so sorry that I took so long to get this up and I was going to put more other stuff into this one but my Muse would not corporate. Anyway I'm hoping to finish this before the end of winter break and I would like to thank each and every one of you for reviewing and once again ask you to forgive me for both how long this has taken to get up and any spelling or grammar mistakes. Also thank you for your suggestions on the italics, I'll try it out next time Maha is in the story, probably next chapter. Thanks again and please keep the reviews coming, you are all m favorite people. 


	15. On To McDonnells

I'm not quite sure that I like McDonnells as much any more. I got there before Tech and as it is I'm sitting here trying my hardest not to bolt. I was at the very least grateful that I wasn't injured as badly as before, only a few bruises showed any evidence and my clothes covered it up.  
  
When Tech finally came in I was extremely nervous. He came over to me and we just kind of stood there trying not to look each other in the eye until Tech finally broke the relative silence (remember we are in McDonnells here).  
  
"So...ummm...You hungry?" he asked. I nodded and did one of those things were you suddenly realize your hungry. We ordered our food and had another awkward moment as we waited. This Fast food stuff really wasn't fast enough for my taste. When we got it I decided now would be a good time to start talking, that way I could have an excuse to stop it all for a bit if need be.  
  
"Well...hi." Yeah that was a good start.  
  
"Why don't you leave?" I see, the blunt approach. I can do that.  
  
"I've tried. It didn't work. You've never met my father Tech. Hell you've never even been to my house! It just, it doesn't work that way okay." That was blunt right?  
  
"All right then lets go," he said standing up and gathering his food.  
  
"What?" My boyfriend makes no sense at all, yep, he's a crazy one.  
  
"You father's out of town right, so show me your house," he said pulling me out of my chair. "Grab your food, we eat on the way!"  
  
I t was rather amusing as I followed behind him leisurely eating my food. It appears that he forgot that we're going there because he never went there before, hence he doesn't know were it is. Either that or his male gene prevented him from asking for directions, even to a place he's never been before. I myself was happy to see how long this would go on for. He just seemed...happy, almost in a disturbing kind of way. When we wound up back at McDonnells he looked around him and then turned back to me with the saddest look on his face.  
  
"I don't know were I'm going."  
  
I was honestly torn between laughing and crying. He looked absolutely...pathetic. In a cute sort of way of course, he always looked cute, but none the less pathetic is the only word that really described him at the time.  
  
The day with Tech had gone by quickly and afterwards I was pleased to realize that Fredy and Hugo had been told by Tech to back off a little, in some ways at least. Fredy was still acting like a big brother and Hugo was disturbingly enough still in maternal mode but it was less verbal now and I liked it that way. They knew, and I knew that they did, for the first time in a long time I had people to lean on.  
  
Maha was also still popping up and though the floating was still slightly odd I rather liked her and even slightly looked forward to her irregular visits.  
  
Best of all my father wasn't to be home for weeks still.  
  
AN: All right, I think I have one more chapter left until Tsukasa is in the coma and then I might change it to a sequel, if nothing else because of a change of view. Now then the review that I want to That Guy which is by the way a great name. He wants to know how old Hugo is so before I reveal his age I want to know what your theories on Hugo are. If nothing else it should be interesting. Last of all if I ever take that long to update again I beg you to flame me, I need someone to keep me in check on that. 


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